Four Month Check Up

Luke and Sam have changed so much in the past four months, sometimes it is hard to believe. I cleared out all of the preemie clothes today and it was amazing to me that Sam was that small. It is funny to say but it made me a bit sad that he has grown out of those cute little clothes. They are both such miracles, they have put my whole life into perspective.

This morning I came into the twins room and Jack had brought in a chair to look into Luke's crib and he was just smiling the biggest smile he could at Jack. It was a great moment. Luke (12lbs. 9 oz.) loves to find me in the room, it makes my day when he cranes his head to see me. He is gaining a lot of strength in his neck. He enjoys his tummy time. And is working on sitting in this bumbo chair. He makes the most darling cooing sounds. He is a very peaceful, happy baby. He is doing great at sleeping through the night, which makes my life so... much easier. Luke you are a beautiful ray of sunshine in my life. Love ya Lukey!

Sam(8lbs. 9oz.) is a darling bundle who loves to snuggle and eat. He is gaining amazingly.
He has figured it all out now. Every time I turn my head he changes. He reminds me everyday how blessed we are to have him in our family. He has started to smile and coo which makes me very happy. Every mile stone he hits makes me excited. He is also gaining strength in his neck. He is not a big fan of tummy time, but is working hard at lifting his head and chest. He can also sit in his bumbo chair, which is so darling because he is so small. He is so darling in every way. He is also doing great at night. About every other night he wakes up for a 3 o'clock feeding. Which I am okay with. It is a lot easier to feed one in the middle of the night, than two.  Love ya Sammer!

There have been so many times in the past few weeks that I have had to look twice to see which one is which. They are close enough in size now that they can wear some of the same clothes. I love to match them! These past four months have been a ride. We are so... blessed.

From the Mouth of Jack

I have got to be better at writing down all the funny things Jack says. He can get me laughing so hard! We had 2 really funny things happen this past week.

If you know Jack, you know that he has a very sensitive gag reflex and a very strong sense of smell. Jack and I went to the grocery store. While we were there he got a lunchable. He was getting into the car and opening his lunchable while I finished up loading the groceries and putting the cart away.  When I got back to the car Jack was gagging and handing me his lunchable.  He said something was stinky in it. I took it and smelled it and smelt nothing stinky. Then I asked him if it smelled like smoke? (I noticed the lady getting into her car next to us smelled strong of smoke) He said,"ya!"  Then I said oh it's not your lunchable it was the lady next to us. And he replied,"oh she must be a chimney sweep" ( he got the word from Busy Town) He didn't understand why that was so funny to me!!!! 

 Second Jack story....


We (the whole fam. 6 counting Scout, Yikes!) were on a Saturday morning walk and we passed a cactus that I was telling Shawn that I wanted to plant one like that in our yard one day Blah Blah Blah. and Jack was in on the converation too. Shawn yelled at Jack not to touch it. The neighbor, across the street thought that Shawn was telling him not to touch the tractor he had parked on the side of the street. So being nice he said, "he can sit on it if he would like to." Jack missed the whole tracker part and thought that he was saying he could sit on the cactus if he would like to. So Jack's classic reply was, "I sat on one of those when I was two and had to get stitches in my butt." ( which is totally made up in the first place) The guy didn't know what to say and Shawn and I were laughing so hard we couldn't explain what he meant. Funny little boy!

He keeps life fun, exciting, interesting, and crazy!!!

The Little Man has Arrived (this never got posted, better late than never. Sam came home on Sept 14th))

Believe it or not, Sam at a whopping 3lbs 9oz, was released from the NICU and sent home to be with the fam! It feels so great to all be under one roof again. It is funny, bringing home twins should be hard, but it it ten times easier than running back and forth for feedings and finding babysitters for Jack. So all in all it has been great having them both home. I have to admit the lack of sleep at night is getting a bit old, but that's not going to change for awhile so we might as well get use to it :)

What blessing these boys have been in our lives, I can't imagine life without them. Jack has also fallen in love with his new baby brothers and enjoys getting right in their faces and also squeezing the top of their heads! We have too keep a close eye on him, but he has been much better with them than I expected.

A Beautiful Blessing

We blessed out sweet Luke and Sam on Oct. 2nd. Ironically that was their actual due date. So we thought it would be fitting. We did it at home because of fear of them getting sick. It was a simple, sweet day. Shawn gave them both beautiful blessing. We are lucky to have the priesthood in our home. Thank you for the Family support. Oh one last thing, Shawn's Mom, aka Grandma Lambert made the twins darling blessing outfits, cute tiny linen suits with matching shoes.

Highlights

Not much time to write theses days but here are a few highlights in our crazy life.....

Took Luke and Sam in today for weekly weight checks. Luke came in at 9lbs15oz and Sam finally hit 5lbs to be exact 5lbs5oz. For starting out at 3lbs12oz and 1lbs14oz that is amazing to me. They are both great eaters can both breast and bottle feed. They are both very patient calm babies, most of the time. They have very sweet spirits about them. When I breast feed them they love to hold hands, which makes me smile every time. They are our little miracles that I am  more and more thankful for every day.

Jack is hanging in there. We have good and bad days. He is 100% boy through and through. He loves to play with his cute friends. He is very into potion making, which is taking over my back yard. I will go to get some kitchen gadget and end up hunting for it in the back yard. His explanation in normally, " Mom I just needed it for my potion" He is full of life and imagination. Most the time he likes us to refer to him as Clumsy Smurf! He is still in love with the Smurfs. He looks forward to per-school on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Where he learns so much. He can say the pledge of allegiance, knows the days of the week, all of the months, can spell a few words, and comes home with the funniest stories. He makes my life crazy but I love him that way. Couldn't ask for a cuter 4 year old boy.

Shawn is staying busy at work, which is a blessing and also a trial. But he does a pretty good job balancing his time. He is great with the twins. People always ask, when I am out by myself, who has the twins. They are always amazed to know that Shawn can handle both of them quite well. He is a great Dad, who loves his boys.

I am surviving, some days are easier than I expected and others are harder.  I just feel so blessed to have everyone home and healthy that I have a hard time complaining much. Thank you for all of the many helping hands that I have, you are all greatly appreciated.

Luke is Home

 The Dr.s found no reason to keep Luke in the NICU any longer. At a whooping 5.4lbs, on no major meds.( I have to give him sodium and iron, which both taste horrible, pour little man.), maintaining his temperature in an open crib, and no longer bradying, we are headed home after 37 day in the NICU.  We are so excited to have him home but feel a bit sad that we had to leave Sam behind. Luckily the Dr. okayed it for me to bring Luke back in for feedings with Sam, what a blessing. Hopefully a few more weeks for Sam and we can all be under one roof. That will be a great day. Love ya Luke, glad you are home.

Another One Down, But Who's Counting?

I can't believe another week has passed. I can honestly say it went by really fast. We are happy to say we have hit very few bumps in the road this week either. Luke is now in clothing and in an open crib. Which makes it really nice and easy to hold him! He is so cute and cuddly. He is really close to 4lbs. And is eating just over an oz. every 3 hours. His one set back this week was he was put back on low flow oxygen. Which has help a lot with his saturation levels, it is a bummer to go back, but I am grateful that he is getting what he needs and glad the Dr.s are playing it safe.

As for Sam he is holding his own. He now weighs close to 2lbs2oz. Growing ever day. He is still in an isolate bed. They have stopped humidity in the bed though and he is working on keeping his temperature up so he can too be moved to an open crib. But I think we have some time before we get there. He has had a bit of reflux in the past few days. If he lays on his left side or on his tummy he does much better. He is now eating just over an 1/2 oz. every 3 hours. They have made the feeding last an hour compared to a half an hour to also help with the reflux.

Another new thing both boys are working on is non-nutritional breast feeding. It is just introducing breast feeding to them with out actually feeding them. They both did really well the first two days but have not been overly interested the past few days. It has opened my eyes to see how long it might take to get them nursing. But I am sure it will come. For now I'll just keep pumping and pumping and pumping.

I had a good Twin moment this week. I was holding Luke and he pooped in his diaper so I got up to change him. The nurse asked me if he got any on his clothes and I said,"no." Just as I was switching to a new diaper he pooped again and this time yes it got on his clothes and his blankets and on me. Yikes! Then just as I was done there I turned over to check on Sam and he had puked. Oh boy it is only a glimpses of life with twins.

I feel so blessed to have these twin boys. They make me so happy. It has been hard to leave Jack so much but he has been very patient and understanding. I look at these tiny little boys and wonder what will they become. I feel like they had all odds against them but they have made it out on top. They are slowly showing a bit of personality. I am so grateful we get to hold them and love them it is great bonding time for all of us. It is hard every time I leave them in that sterile room, but I am grateful for the NICU. It is an amazing facility, everyone in there is great. I always feel like my boys are being taken care of.  

One Week Ago

A flood of emotions come to me when I think back to one week ago. Instantly my life was changed forever. I was scared, excited and left with a loss of emotion. Many times throughout the twins pregnancy I had felt that way. Something inside me turns off when I am faced with an emotional issue. Often times people would ask me "how are you doing?", "are you really okay?" And truthfully most of the time I was. I would break down to Shawn at night sometimes but most the time I had a lack of emotion. I knew The Lord was there for me. I prayed a lot. I also know that a lot of prayers were said in our behalf. Thanks.

I was admitted into the hospital on Tuesday the 26th. Because Twin A (that is what he went by at that point. Also another way to unattach me emotionally from the situation) had gained 800 grams in the past 3 weeks. Where Twin B had only gained 60 grams. Of course throwing up a red flag. Dr.s watched closely and monitored heart rates daily. But something inside me just wanted to be done. Not for myself but in fear that if we waited much longer our outcome might not be.... But we kept plugging along trying to find a firm reason for them to be out not in. Friday afternoon I went in for an ultrasound to check the cord doppler. Long story short the blood flow to Baby B was not good. That was the signal we had been waiting for. The next question to arise was vaginal delivery or c-section. We had talked a lot to my Dr. about it but never had a firm answer. Looking at the positive and negatives we chose c-section. They wanted to wait until 6:30 so my lunch would digest. But after putting the babies on the heart monitors they quickly deiced this needs to happen now. Again at that point I was numb to any emotions. At least from the outside I was. Inside I kept thinking what if.... There were so many unknowns and scary maybes that I wasn't sure if I could handle. The operating room was scary and that was when at least some emotions came through. I was alone and afraid of the pain, but most of all I just wanted to skip the next hour and know the end result.

They prepped me, everything went really fast and looking back it was really foggy and cold! I remember the room was freezing. I wanted Shawn there so bad. Finally they let him in and fate was knocking at our door. Tears rolled down my eyes and for the first time in this pregnancy I let my emotions come through. When I heard the first cry, Baby A, I felt a bit of relief especially once they held him up for me to see him. But I knew the scary part was coming next. To my surprise Baby B also cried, not a loud cry but there was noise. But they didn't show him to me. Which scared me. Shawn ran out with the babies and there I laid afraid of what was next.

Luckily a really nice guy sensed my fear and went out and came back and said all is well with Baby B also. It was over, well... kind of. The next few hours were blurry. Luckily Shawn took lot of pictures. Shawn kept me updated. What a relief it was to hear they were breathing room air and not on a ventilator. He kept telling me everything is fine, they are doing great.  I tried in the middle of the night to go and see them but I was to weak and sick to my stomach. A think around 6 I had the strength to get down to the NICU. I have to admit I had very little emotion the first time I saw Luke and Sam. It was like I was looking at someone elses babies. Not really being able to hold them and nurse them or have any form of bonding is hard. And also to have a nurse hovering over you, it is just a weird experience. (I don't feel that way now though, they are mine and I can't get enough of them.)

The past week has been challenging with recovery. But these babies are amazing. I am sure there will be bumps in the road. But so far our prayers have been answered. They have there Cpaps off. Which makes them so much more comfortable and cuter. They are on high flow and close to being moved to low flow.  They have the umbilical lines out now, they are only being fed through a tube from their mouths to their tummies.  Nearly all of their nutrition is mothers milk (which in now my milk, there is a lot of pumping going on at this house. Jack thinks it is sweet that his Mom knows how to make babies and milk :)) Speaking of Jack, he was able to come and see his little brothers for the first time on Sunday. He was very sweet and loved holding Sam's hand. He was also was so interested in which baby was A and B and loves that there is a small one and a big one!They have lost weight for most of the week but on Thursday Luke was up 65 grams and Sam 55 grams. Which is amazing. My favorite part is that we get to hold them. I love that it is the one thing that pulls us apart from the nurses. I feel like it is the best bonding thing we can do right now. We hold them skin to skin, bare chest to bare chest. On Thursday I was able to hold them together. I think all three of us loved it.

The care that Luke and Sam get is amazing. Every nurse has been outstanding. I love to watch them take care of my babies they are all great and loving. They are also great at helping us heal and feel at peace. The Dr.s are so confident in everything they do. Everyone makes us feel special and loved there. Everyday at "rounds" (where they tell us the updates on both babies in the past 24 hours) they all praise the boys. They think that Sam is a "champ" for his size he is making improvements in leaps and bounds. It has been a hard, yet an amazing experience. I wouldn't change it for anything. I feel the love of my Heavenly Father everyday. I know that these two boy were supposed to come to our family. I know they will be strong, brave little boys who will teach me more than I will ever be able to teach them. They make me realize the importance of being a mother. I feel overwhelmed sometimes at the role I have been given. My boys mean everything to me. Last thing is I have to give a lot of credit to Shawn for being an amazing Dad and husband. He has kept us all moving forward. He has been my anchor this past week and the love he has for all three boys is amazing. I am aware that the road ahead is long but I look forward to it.

Fourth of JULY

Even though the Holiday was suppose to be spent on bed rest we did our best to have fun. Thanks to good Friends, Neighbors, and Family it was a great Fourth Of July. 

Family Night = Bat House

Shawn couldn't be more proud of his little son hard at work building a bat house!!!! I love simple moments like this. If only it wouldn't have been 110 degrees and I wasn't way fat, pregnant. That made it not so fun :)